Those excellent people at Mumsnet blogged a YouKnowYouAreAParent-style list recently. I’ve got a sneaky feeling some of the ‘Dad’ ones were made up at Mumsnet Towers; still, here’s some I think they missed out.
You know you are a Dad when…
- You often play up to your fabled incompetence, because it entertains children.
- You occasionally play up to your fabled incompetence, so that you will no longer be asked to do things that you find tedious.
- You realise the rope-bridge of snot that pings back into your face after your toddler kisses you goodbye, will be the last contact you will have with your child today. (Consequently, you feel a strange mix of sadness and pride, even as you wipe it away with an exaggerated “bleaughh!”).
- You can hear your voice, but it’s your old man talking.
- You understand why your dad always fell asleep on the sofa.
- Your infant wakes up screaming “Daddy!” at four in the morning and you reach their room so quickly that you wonder if, maybe, you actually can fly.
- It’s not until after they’ve gone back to sleep that you remember you are naked.
- A trip to the supermarket with infants in tow will win you the Man of the Year award, in the eyes of passing grandmothers.
- On returning home, you are stripped of your Man of the Year title because you forgot the Fruity Bars / mini yoghurts.