Meeting Myself Coming Back

I had a phone call the other day from my 19 year-old-self. It’s fair to say, I was surprised.

Still, after some rigorous security questions and a large Brandy, I agreed to his suggestion of an interview. I do wonder why I hadn’t thought of the idea before, but I’d need a whole new blog to address that metaphysical can of worms. Here’s the interview, instead.

Me Then: So how do I look, future me?

Me Now: You see Dad? He’s your new mirror.

MT: Seriously?

MN: Well, it was always gonna be him and mum – and it’s mostly him.

MT: OK. Give me 3 pieces of advice.

MN: Won’t doing this mess up space-time or something?

MT: Technically, we’ve already messed up space-time… Tell you what – go and stand in front of a mirror – if you start to disappear, stop talking.

MN: That’s reassuring… Ok, here’s my first piece of advice – Lose the moustache! Second, she likes you. You don’t have to be such an arse to her.

MT: Who are you talking about?

MN: Like I said, stop being an arse.

MT: Right…

MN: Good. Third, unless this phone call has completely messed things up, there’s a good chance you’re going to live beyond the age of 25 –

MT: Spare me the lecture; I know I’m going to have to pay the loans back.

MN: Right. That’s why you should get all the loans you can and keep the money in an account that pays a higher rate of return than you will pay in interest, so that when you leave Uni, you can put a deposit on a flat –

MT: As fun as that sounds, granddad, I’d rather go traveling after Uni. The last thing I need is a mortgage.

MN: Oh well, I tried… How about a few F.A. Cup betting tips?

MT: I don’t want to talk about football, after the season Arsenal has had.

MN: Don’t worry; it gets much better. And then it gets worse again.

MT: Are you still playing?

MN: Not really. And I’m more likely to use the Sport section of the paper to stuff inside wet footwear than to read, these days.

MT: Since when?

MN: Since the internet destroyed the Sports Page Experience. I’ve more time for the Family section, now.

MT: Do you have one? A family?

MN: Erm…

MT: You’re right, don’t answer that… I’d quite like to see this world of yours.

MN: When you get here, I’ll show you around. Until then, trust me on the moustache.


2 thoughts on “Meeting Myself Coming Back

  1. What moustache?
    Talking to yourself already and It can only gets worse!
    Made I laugh
    Somerset Gran

    • Yes, believe it or not, there was once a ‘tache. I believe the photographic evidence still exists – but it’s locked away in a very hidden place!
      Glad you’re enjoying the blog. Keep the comments coming!


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